Sometimes in a life’s journey you sit and pause for a while, you ask yourself what exactly do you want from your life? Where exactly are you leading? What exactly the future holds for you? You know, nothing is worst than the realization that you’re leading your life in an absolutely wrong way. That you are deceiving yourself. That you’ll be regretting it later and you’re sure about that yet you continue to do it. Because you like doing it. Because you’ve turned numbed to tears. Because you love failures and destruction as you’ve seen souls getting destroyed. Because life is unfair and unjust and just very cruel as it blows you apart at times.
I know that people have worst than me. I know that they have uglier, shittier and very difficult lives. I know that their wounds are intense and deeper than mine. I know that they might not be as blessed as I am and I am way better than many but still, I too, am a human. I have my own problems, my own troubles and my own worries. They might be too minor and insignificant in others’ view but very huge for my fragile being and they are potent enough to blow apart my peace of mind, hold me in melancholic depression and haunting nostalgia and upset me for hours, days and months filling my life, heart, soul with utter sadness. You know sometimes you can not give reason for your melancholy and depression. It is just that much of a secret. Sometimes the sudden prick of nostalgia ache too much. And it takes you to the bitter fact about the existence of few people you never wanted to have around. About those you never liked to spend your time with or never wished to have your sincerity, loyalty and honest intentions. But then again that is why we call them as memories. The permanent imprints. The scars. The forever reminders…
They say everything could be shared with people. The right ones. The close ones and you’ll get off the burden. But I know well that certain things can not be shared. Same as certain things can not be written. Same as certain songs can not be sung. And certain sighs can not be heard. Yeah.. THAT way.. same. Because all the things couldn’t be shown. As they are just too sacred or too precious or too dark or too deep or too intense to be told. They can not be be revealed. They remain unknown. And go away with the person’s soul and some things are better to be left untold.
It is summertime sadness.. Life is slow and melancholy is woe.. but this too shall pass as it is one of those days and they told me nothing is constant. Not even the constant itself. The brightest day was only followed after the darkest night and the silent tears were turned into heartening giggles. Sometimes you fail in prioritizing the priorities. And the life leads in an absolutely wrong direction but then again, light leads you to the home, my child. Sometimes the lemons life throws at you are way too much to handle but then again, the real bliss lies in the bitter sweet.
So take a deep breathe and rely your back on the wall of hope for it won’t betray you like the living beings… And this,
“I have lost friends, some by death…others by sheer inability to cross the street.”
It sums up my take on life.. But still people got over things and life had a way to add day after day. But you don’t know me and neither do you know my story so you’ll be a listener who’ll listen to the tale and move one.