What love means anymore?

Memento Vitae

I don’t know what love means anymore…

You had a rough day and you missed me I could interpret it in many ways but I didn’t… I just wanted to know what happened and be there for you. But as always I was too late or you had changed your mind.

I was in bed thinking about you… letting my mind calculate the astronomical possibilities that could have happened for a bad day in your life. And these intrusive thoughts would penetrate me.

“What did she miss about me?”

Over time I have made it a habit to shun such thoughts because when I find out that I’m having wishful thinking I hate myself – it hurts. I didn’t let my mind answer it or ponder. I pushed the thought away because I felt guilty. Afraid and some more things I couldn’t describe – I fell asleep.

I woke up…

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