Tonight, in this empty corridor, I think of us and everything we left here; your scent’s slight aura, my giggles, the forced chuckles, tingling butterflies beneath the layers of my skin, those warm whispers, our broken pens, stained coffee cups and all that we lived in between these tiny moments.
The waves of numbness and cold gusts surge down the spine as I feel these old pillars; my heart whispers of the precious memoirs longing for your touch, my sight is searching for your shadow; while in between this harsh battle, I struggle to carry my cracking courage, trying to move on with composure.
Maybe some day, when the grief of losing each other will dissolve in the hustle of life; I will pass by here once again and not miss you the way I do now. Not this deeply, this strongly, this intensely; where every part of my being tries to rebel against my own breathes sighing in the limbo of nostalgia & loss.
I will pass by here, again, with a heart as strong as that of yours so to ask; why did it break? All this intimacy we held dearer to us. Did it hurt the nerve as much as it damaged the ray of hope in me?
Maybe, we can settle for a cup of coffee in this very corridor, like we used to do before you let it all puff in the thin air, and find all the broken ties, the missing pieces of the puzzle; maybe we can glue it all together in one piece pretending it never fell apart. I will be there in your warmth but my heart won’t skip a beat with your name, my eyes won’t lose a glance with your sight and my soul? It will be numb and indifferent; maybe I will find the courage again to face my shattered bits and not bawl my eyes over the sight of this damage deep within.
But tonight, how do I hold my soul that is torn apart in a strange abyss; which hurts the most? The loss of your love or our inability to carry it whole when we could.
Maybe none of them but actually, it was your indifference which kept my love dangling in a false mirage.
Maybe I will find answers one day and then turn back to you to tell, ‘although not all stories have a happy ending but ours was not meant to break hearts and destroy living beings either.’